Thursday, 15 December 2011

Thinking about transitioning?

Nothing worth having is easy to acheive, transitioning included. Friendships are difficult, relationships are difficult, families are difficult, jobs are difficult. Transitioning is never easy, and although I think that it's easier for some than it is for others, I believe that depends entirely on how much you want it and how much you're willing to sacrifice in order to have it.

You risk losing friends, family, jobs, and more. People's opinions of you might change, some will think you're just going through a phase, some will think you're just confused about your sexuality, some will think you just want attention and some will think you don't know what it is you want. No one will understand how you feel unless they're going through the same situation, and even then it's different for each person. You have to decide if it's worth it, do you want it enough to risk losing everything? I did, that's why I took the risk, and although I've lost alot because of it, it's the best thing I've ever done because I knew it was what I needed to do in order to be happy and live a life I love.

The first step is deciding that you're sure it's what you want. Yes it's easy to reverse everything and go back to living as your born gender, but that will make things even more complicated for you. If you're sure you want it, tell people close to you. Family, close friends, boyfriends or girlfriends. Tell only a few to begin with and see how they react, see if they'll help you, because the next step is just as difficult and you'll need a good group of supportive people to help you through it, I went through it alone and I do not recommend it.

Then you'll have to decide to come out and start living as the gender you feel inside. Go slow or take a huge leap, whatever you think you could handle. For me, I got rid of all my boy clothes and threw them away hours after I told everyone. The next day I started dressing as a girl and asked people to call me by my new name, but you have to think about how the people you're coming out to will react, will they be able to cope with it? Will they really be able to see you as a woman/man so quickly? They might not, so this is why going slow is also a good option.

The next step is hormones. Go to your doctor and tell them how you feel, take all the help they offer and do whatever it takes to get seen by the right people. Go to appointments, get a therapist, do not miss any appointments that they give you because you have to show you're serious about this, even if it means traveling hundreds of miles just to be seen for five minutes, it's worth it and it shows how comitted you are. It won't be an easy journey and you'll probably get impatient, but wait it out. It's definitely worth it, never ever give up.

In the end you have realize that this is something you may have to do to be happy in life. Why live a lie forever? You'll never be happy if you're never true to yourself. The best thing in life you can realize is that you come first, your happiness is all that matters, and as long as you're comfortable with yourself, nothing else should matter. Don't make excuses, age isn't stopping you, friends and family aren't stopping you, your location isn't stopping you, weight/height/appearance/body/etc isn't stopping you. The only thing stopping you is you, and the sooner you realize that everyone else has their own problems to deal with and that they really don't care that much about what you do with your life, the better, because that is when you will start living instead of just being alive.

♥ Ellery 

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

(Ugh this was supposed to be posted over a week ago. Better late than never!)

Hey everyone.

Sitting at home bored on a Saturday night, I feel like such a loser! I'm not allowed to drink for a while so there's no point going out if I'm not gonna enjoy myself while my friends all get drunk! I don't even drink coffee or Red Bull any more, I just drink lots of fruit and vegetable juices, water, vitamin waters and teas. What's happened to me?!

I went out with my babe today for lunch, I had a panini with salad and chicken. So yummy! Then we went to an event in my town and watched the Christmas lights get turned on. I was excited because there was supposed to be someone dressed as Hello Kitty but we stayed all day and I never saw her, I did see someone dressed as Buzz Lightyear thought and my boyfriend got his picture taken with him, he's always loved him and was so excited to get a picture with him, it was adorable.

We left our apartment and have been looking for a new place, today I found one and called them about it and they're gonna call me soon to arrange a viewing, I'm so excited because it's so cute, pretty much just what I've always wanted! And it's well under our budget, so I'm hopeful that we're gonna get it. Wish me luck!

Plus on the 21st I have my last appointment with the gender clinic, after this I'll be prescribed hormones so I can stop self medicating. I have court first on the 19th though, so let's hope I don't go to jail so I can make it there! :(

I'm gonna go have some sushi and vitamin water for dinner, then go for a bubble bath, face mask and paint my nails then cuddle up in bed and watch a movie. I'll leave you all with a "what's in my bag" because let's be honest it's always fun to see what's in other girl's bags. I love when the blogs I read post them, I love being nosey!

And some random pictures just because...

♥ Ellery 

Thursday, 10 November 2011

What's been going on in Elleryland?

Hey! It's been a while! Time to update you guys on what's been going on in Elleryland...

What have I been up to? Getting a boyfriend, moving into an apartment with him, partying, getting arrested, drinking wine, getting tattoos, going out for dinners, celebrating my 20th birthday, watching fireworks with my babe, working my butt off, meeting all sorts of crazy new people, eating lots of yummy candy, and looking for a new job all while rocking the fuck out of anything leopard, leather, beige, black, knee high socks, dresses, high waisted denim shorts, fishnets, and hats with adorable animal faces and ears.

It's been one hell of a year so far that's for sure. Not only have I been through so much and changed so much as a person, so much has gone wrong but fortunately for every down there has been an up.  I've not only changed from a boy to a girl, but now I'm changing from a girl to a woman. Bring on 2012! I'm ready! My next step is to move to a big city. I'm definitely a city girl at heart!

Hopefully this explains why I haven't had much time to come online lately. Plus I have no internet at our apartment yet and we're not gonna get it because we're moving out again soon. I haven't forgot about you guys though!

♥ Ellery 

Saturday, 18 June 2011

Vanilla Ice Cream

Hey everyone.

This post is gonna be about my outfit I wore on a date a few nights ago. It wasn't so much a date, more like drinks with a boy. *in denial*

I wore a cute cream and gold lace dress, cream Christian Louboutin "Banana 140" peep toe pumps, a gold clutch bag, a gold and diamond heart necklace and cream flower earrings. I wore my usual makeup but added bronzer, extra highlighter, more mascara and liquid liner. I would have worn false lashes but I had none since I rarely wear them anymore. I kept my hair simple, with a little quiff and tiny little braids at the side, and pulled it into a low, curled ponytail.

All in all I had a great night and he seemed very impressed.  So, mission complete!

I wish I had done cream nails with red tips and a glittery topcoat, but I didn't think that far ahead and had just painted them blue the same day.

What do you think?

♥ Ellery